Strong Willed Preschoolers – How to Channel that Spirit!

Do you have a strong willed Preschooler? Chances are she started out as a high spirited Toddler! At times you want to pull your hair out with that determined (a.k.a.: “stubborn”) little being. But don’t give up! That strong-minded little person will grow into a confident adult one day as long as you channel that spirit for your benefit and your preschooler’s! Here are four tips to get you through the early years and pave the path for a successful future.

They LOVE Choices!

Independence and power plays are part of every toddler’s make-up but for a strong willed child those two traits can be even more challenging. They want to be in control. All. The. Time! So why not give them some authority? (HINT: You don’t care which choice they make!). Is it time to get dressed for the day? They get to choose the blue or the green shirt. Breakfast? Tell your preschooler he can choose oatmeal or a bagel with cream cheese. If it doesn’t matter to you which choice is made then let the decision be your child’s. He will feel empowered by getting to choose and you will alleviate a power struggle.

Acknowledge Their Feelings

High spirited children generally have a big personality and with that personality comes big emotions. When they are happy – you know it! When they are not happy – everyone knows it! But before you reprimand that emotional outburst sometimes a simple acknowledgement of feelings will avoid a meltdown. “I know you want to wear the pink dress and you’re sad you can’t. You can choose the blue or green one for today and the pink one will be washed for tomorrow.” You’ve validated her feelings and sometimes that can make a big difference to that big personality.

Be Obnoxious about Routines & Rules

A strong willed child does not do well with grey area. Stick to routines and be consistent about rules. That determined toddler will buck the system when given the opportunity so don’t risk it. When there’s a hardline rule she will come to respect it. She may not agree with it and even test it … but if you’re consistent in your follow through it will benefit you in the long run. You’ll be surprised how the day comes when you’re expecting a push back she pouts and moves on.

Communicate

A headstrong preschooler always wants to be in the know. Communicate often and be specific. Routines are important but sometimes plans change or circumstances are unavoidable. However, don’t mistake this for having to defend yourself. You acknowledged his feelings, made a decision, possibly even gave an alternative option – now move on. Tell your preschooler that you know he wanted to wear the green shirt today but it’s really cold outside thus the long sleeved white one it will be. He can wear the blue or green pants with it. That is all the discussion needed. Being too empathetic to the point of apologizing will cause you to lose some of your own authority with your child.

These four tips won’t necessarily avoid all future meltdowns but possibly they will ward off or minimize a few challenging moments. It doesn’t always seem so in the moment but those high spirited toddlers will grow into very self-assured young men and women and have the potential to go far in life… as long as you don’t squash them first!

AB 2/15/16

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Children’s Campus enriches the minds of children aged 6 weeks through Pre-K. Call us at 919-806-1900 to schedule your tour of our child care centers.

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The Children's Campus opened the Summer of 2005, and I was one of the fortunate parents to claim a coveted spot. It was love at first visit. I was a new mom and this was going to by my baby's first daycare. I was nervous and excited for the opportunity. Fast forward to present 2013 and I am still the biggest fan. Both my children have now been fortunate to grow, explore, learn, and be loved by this wonderful center.

Thank you for providing a safe, nurturing and wonderful environment for my children. Thank you for loving them as your own. And, thank you for creating a place that makes learning fun.

Thank you to Mr. John - "The Cooker" (as my four year old will say) for providing nurturing meals that apparently I can't top at home. "No, I want Mr. John's soup" is a common complaint at my house. That is okay because that means my child is eating during the day.

Great staff, great teachers, great support, great place!

Dona Aguayo, Parent of two, Southpoint

All three of my children have received wonderful care at Children's Campus - first at Southpoint (Durham) and then in Chapel Hill.

Going back to work early in an Infant's life is always tough but it has been so much easier knowing my babies have been truly loved. Leaving my youngest little girl was as close to stress free as I could imagine, almost like leaving her with family!

... I know that everyone at the schools, from the administrators to the teachers to the wonderful Cook, is truly invested in my children - looking out for their welfare!

Kym Hunter, mother of three, Chapel Hill

We feel very fortunate to be part of the caring environment at Children's Campus at Southpoint. The hours are generous for parents who work outside the home and the flexible drop-off and pick-up times are convenient for those that work from home. Chef John prepares delicious and healthy meals and snacks and saves me from agonizing over packing a lunch every morning. The pre-k program prepared our oldest for a successful year of Kindergarten as well as a stress-free transition. From the 5-star educators to the friendly community we could not be happier with our decision to entrust CC with the care of our children.

Erica L, Southpoint

I've had 3 children at Children's Campus at Southpoint, from infancy through pre-k, and my favorite thing is that these teachers really love their kids. If you take a tour, you'll see how clean and well organized it is, and they'll describe the great educational programs and tools and activities that they have. The reason we sent all 3 kids there, though, is that we know that the teachers care about our children as individuals - they know them, they pay attention to how they're doing, and our kids love the teachers back. It's wonderful.

Andy E, Southpoint

Both of my kids went here and we loved it. The teachers were kind and engaging. I really felt like my kids were cared for and loved for the unique individuals they are. Also, they were both more than ready for kindergarten when they left. The Children's Campus made learning fun and the whole staff felt like family. Years later we still feel like it is a second home and still like to come and visit the wonderful teachers and administrators.

Inna S, Chapel Hill